When they come, they come with no expectations; the definition doesn’t lie present within this world. One world, with one wall encapsulates the birthplace of madness; a circling spherical stratus formation built of dead skin, vapored urine and blood, a mirroring image of the land it hovers over. The combination of elements in the sky creates mucus colored tints, dull turquoise with muddy yellow spots melting into each other. At the same time blisteringly bright, it’s definable as blotchy and imperfect, but like a quilt that’s filled with the foulness of the universe in its patches, its complete and purposeful. Inescapable heat from the sun sucks all the moisture from the sand that smothers the ground. Deep copper colored discharge rises visibly from the cracks of the earth making the ground soft and impressionable archiving every step taken on its surface. It only takes a few seconds for anxiety to glide into the forefront of consciousness; the emptiness presented is bleak to the point of torment. Interestingly, with time, and tragedy, there is solace and beauty when looking at the blood soaked, sandpaper planes of Grim Genesis. Being so relentlessly infinite and desolate that you can feel your soul fade when you stare out longer then three seconds. After time spent on its deeper whereabouts I started to love the feeling, even yearn for it. There is a foulness in all beings that longs to hold on to it. Day by day I feel my bones start to secede. This world was made for death, but Grim Genesis is honest in its intent and malicious in its follow-through. All the men that walk this world leave their footprints first then there bodies second with very little time between the two. No living person thrives on these sands. It isn’t possible to thrive when you’re dead, or dying and it’s a known fact that you are doing one of them if you are unfortunate enough to walk these grounds. The air in their lungs is poisoned, and every breath adds to the ending timeline. Yet they stand and they kill and bleed and they play and run and fuck, like its purposeful, like its religious. It’s understood amongst all, that violence runs morality, so nothing should surprise you. When something does however, it ironically doesn’t matter any longer, because the end comes shortly after the mistake and the laws of cause and effect takes its toll.
We are part of Grim Genesis, birthed from a motherless slime, and a creation of the environment that nurtured us. But there are men wicked without the help of natural surroundings, however I was told this and never could really tell the difference myself.
Grim Genesis is a cesspool of constant recurrences of destruction and creation at an unreal velocity. The world just seems to birth more and more bodies, while at the same time and sometimes at different speeds, taking those same bodies away. Like all civilizations, there were great minds that passed through Grim Genesis, bringing the birth of modern society, and technology. It all happened rather suddenly. History is only understood if it’s relevant in Grim Genesis at the moment, so times of peace and prosper are generally not shared. Regardless, it’s nary to find that such times have happened, and is only known in order to better contrast the reality. It’s innately cruel, and yet not questioned, these walking corpses accept their position almost willingly and with pride, I never understood how. Never dared to try and ask. It would be the same as asking, “why do you continue to keep breathing?” It’s an unnatural question, but why? The world is on fire; it’s not anyone’s place to ask questions that tug concepts of variety or civility, so why bother? But what of the man who becomes the fire that supersedes him, does he get to escape these walls? How much is conquering madness worth if, in the process you become madness as well?
My presence on Grim Genesis, the short while that it was, had an appalling amount of significance on the world. And during that time I saw that the connection that people have with each other has the most obscure power. There are people that you meet so haphazardly, that it dilutes the signs that you would notice about a person on a normal basis, and subsequently changes things, sometimes drastically afterwards. On Grim Genesis I experienced this on a blink and a half basis, some were more significant than others. It was in that way that I met a man, of whom I will never forget. I’ve gone back and forth on the day, but when all you’ve seen is flats of tan for an indistinguishable amount of time, you start to forget the colors that come together to provide memories. That’s not to be pompous enough to say that my memories, my story, are mine alone, because quite to the opposite, I don’t subscribe to that notion at all. There is really only one story, it never ends, with an infinite random cast that walk aimlessly letting impulse and electricity guide. Colliding back and forth sparking and exploding across the world, scattering energy, painting a picture, leading a path, a succession of events, a story. Knowing that, how could you say you own anything? There wouldn’t be any pleasure in it. On Grim Genesis all you have is that connection. I doubt you would hear anyone talk of it in such language, but it was clear to me more than anything that there is contact on Grim Genesis, violent of course, more often then not, but always present. More than I had ever experienced, which isn’t much. With that understanding in mind for some reason the brutality that was constant seemed subdued soon after I arrived. I couldn’t really tell you exactly how people arrive there. But my method, and ideology behind my arrival was strange even for the world’s standards. I guess plainly, you could say I broke into Grim Genesis. Doing so however, gives the impression that I did so for a gain of some sort, which wouldn’t be the case for me or for anyone, not consciously at least. It is only to say that I was once not there, and then entered by my own will.
2 : The Balance
It wasn’t until I arrived on Grim Genesis that I knew I had power, in any sense, I didn’t know what it meant. My re birth, if you will, was shrouded by drama and large amounts of destruction. I plummeted the earth with great force. My impact shook the ground, rippling waves through the earth for miles. Up until this point, I had never made an impression onto anything. Before then I was a ball of heat inside an undesignated box.
It was silent the few minuets that I laid still after my contact. I felt comfortable, for the first time. My mass felt, for a second, it wasn’t being intruded upon. As if the world finally found room for me on it. My surroundings were abstract, but very alive; things were sparking and flying left and right all around me. Colors that I had never seen before presented themselves with full confidence as my eyes crept open more and more, swiveling back and forth under my lashes. Then I saw it, saw him, his glowing face surrounded by hell fire. I saw that face before, in every dream for what seemed like forever. I couldn’t make out his features, matter of fact it wasn’t particularly his physical features that I remember or what made an impression. He had a soaring spirit. A fire blistering white but that was soft, and large, forever growing inside him, pulsing. In that moment I said nothing. My body wouldn’t have cooperated even if I wanted to.
Come to think of it I was never a big talker. I only talked to a handful of people whose faces I never saw. Our conversations seemed psychotic. Always love and all that destructive and nonsense dribble. I had very little to say on the subject at the time. It seemed so baseless. But in my dreams it played out with laser precision, a connection that radiated through my subconscious. I tried to deny the feeling at first. For some reason however, every night I would delve deeper into the feeling, love. It overwhelmed me. I never knew where it was coming from. But I ached to find out.
I was lying still, amongst the fire of my own creation, my body burning outwardly scorching the floor. The man left after only a few moments. It seemed as if he was looking at me directly at one point, even though I had my eyes closed and no way of knowing for sure. I could feel it. When I opened my eyes however, he was gone. I understood time from that moment. At least how it pertained to me, and how I saw others deal with it after as well. Its never on you’re side. That’s the overarching challenge, in life anyway. Life forces you to create, in an effort to beat time. Luck however, does exist and it was on that day I also experienced that for the first time. After noticing he wasn’t there most of my world went dark. I know now that I was close to death. But what I felt in that moment didn’t feel like death or what I’ve seen death look like since then. I remember being lifted by a force and moving limitlessly fast, a type of speed with infinite potential, yet with my well being in mind, holding me softly. I looked, with the last of my life upward, it was that fire, glaring brightly at the world, glaring at me.
Energy is sacred. I imagine it would be hard to be something that can be everything and also never die. If energy was personified I feel all living men would buckle at the knees from the stories it would tell. After long diagnosis and what felt like the two longest years ever on its surface, my hypothesis is that Grim Genesis is that personification. Energy vibrates in Grim Genesis harshly and persistent. I can still feel my chest rattling, with such a heavy disdain. I was forcibly, consciously, alive, and every second being there was a reminder. While in the embrace of that light I wasn’t burdened by this pressure. He smiled like he had never smiled before, I know because at that point I can’t say I had either. But it was infectious enough to pull a bitter smile out of my barely conscious corpse. Our travel was long, and I faded in and out, barely able to keep my eyes open, in contrast he held that same smile the whole time.